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A Man Loving a Man dial-up | broadband
words and music by Jonathan Best

 
Why am I so scared
Why am I so blue
Why is it so hard to be close to you
Let me turn away
Let me walk home slow
There’s too much on my mind
So just let me go
 
But when I get home and turn on the TV
That box expects me to be what it wants me to be
I’m finding it hard to understand
What it means to be a man
 
I have a place inside
Where no man ever goes
Even my own heart it doesn’t know
It is so well hid
So I can’t get hurt
But now I think that I’m under orange alert
 
When I was just a boy my very best friend
Touched me like I never wanted it to end
But my friends laughed and they shamed me
Then I grew up to be a man
 
I wanted every woman I could see
I tried so hard to be what a man is supposed to be
I found it hard to understand
A man loving a man
 
Why am I so scared
Why am I so blue
Why is it so hard to be close to you
Let me turn away
Let me walk home slow
Right back to that place
No man ever goes
 
But maybe if I could just set myself free
And be the man that only I want to be
Then maybe I could understand
A man loving a man
 
Maybe if I could just love myself head to knee
And keep loving myself unconditionally
Then maybe I could understand
A man loving a man
Maybe even I could understand
A man loving a man


Cheerios dial-up | broadband
words and music by Jonathan Best

I was sittin’ by the telephone
I could tell it could see me crying
Took my love to Sheridan Square
But the women they weren’t buying
Came back home to my telephone
Called every number that I owned
Gave them every yes I had
All they gave me back was nos
So I had to get out my box of Cheerios
I had to pour me a bowl of Cheerios
 
How many dreams must I wake up from
Before I know I’m just a dreamer
How many times must she lie to me
‘Till I can just say what the heck and believe her
Took the train to the moon last night
Spread on the mustard and had a bite
It didn’t fill me up too well
Why it didn’t only heaven knows
But I had to get out my box of Cheerios
I had to pour me a bowl of Cheerios
 
Cheerios, Cheerios
I had a couple of bowls of those
It was so good that I had some more
I had so much some went on the floor
I started fearing that I had to much when my mouth just wouldn’t close
But I had to get out another box of Cheerios
I had to pour me a bowl of Cheerios
I put the milk on the bowl of Cheerios
I dropped my face into the bowl of Cheerios


Free Like Jumbo
words and music by Jonathan Best, Mary Poole, Ceal Villar and Katan Moore

Bangled elephant
Flyin' through the sideshow
No one's watching him
I guess he's on his own now

And I'm walkin' whistlein' hummin' and listening
And I'm walkin' whistlein' looking and listening

Crazy little man
With his big shoes barkin'
Tattooed human fly
Winks in my direction

And I'm walkin' whistlein' hummin' and listening
And I'm walkin' whistlein' looking and listening

When the ringmaster calls me
I have to answer no
I love to watch and listen
But I'm not in your show

Livin' in the wild free like Jumbo
I don't mind livin' in the jungle


From the Big Bang
words and music by Jonathan Best

I had a dream
It washed away the anger
And helped me to remember
Just who we are
 
And in that dream
We were exploring caves when
A light drew you deeper into
Places unknown
 
Don’t forget to wake me up I’ll
Love you while my dreams are hot and
Just in case I done forgot just
What it is that we have got you must
Not be scared to wake me up I’ll
Love you and I’m never gonna stop
 
And in that dream
Your voice was singing to me
Words that went right through me
Warming my flesh
 
The words that you sang
Were from an unknown language
Sounds that I never heard before
Rockin’ my soul
 
Don’t forget to wake me up I’ll
Love you while my dreams are hot and
Just in case I done forgot just
What it is that we have got you must
Not be scared to wake me up I’ll
Love you and I’m never gonna stop
 
We go back to the big bang where
We first met
I don’t understand what my maker told me
But her words I’ll never forget
She said our love is not about two candles melting into one
Our love is not that kind of coupledom
It’s more like a big black hole that’s a billion times bigger than the sum
It’s from the big bang
That’s where it’s from
Our love just keeps expanding
Our love just keeps expanding
Expanding and expanding and expanding…
 
I had a dream
It washed away the anger
And helped me to remember
Just who we are


Higher
words and music by Jonathan Best
 
As I look into your eye
It moves me
But in the other eye
I see someone still born
And when something passes by
Brushing you softly like fur
In this darkness do you dare
Holding me softly at first
 
And when you hear that
Long forgotten sound
You must not hold on to the ground
Love will never come down
To meet you
It’s Gonna take you higher
Higher and then
It’s gonna take you higher
Higher again
 
When you look up to the stars
It moves you
You look down  at your feet
Yes we’re trying oh so hard
When you try to look inside
It’s such a delicate birth
In this darkness do you dare
Holding me softly at first
 
And when you hear that
Long forgotten sound
You must not hold on to the ground
Love will never come down
To meet you
It’s Gonna take you higher
Higher and then
It’s gonna take you higher
Higher again
It’s Gonna take you higher
Higher and then
It’s gonna take you lower

In Your Pan
words and music by Jonathan Best

You know I wrote the bible and I didn’t even get paid, yea
And they accused me of libel and removed my head, yea
And it’s aching
It feels like a strip of bacon
In your pan
 
But you know I keep my filter tips right between my lips, yea
And I never fail to get a light from one of your gypsters
And it’s smokin’
Lord knows my heart is soakin’
In your pan
 
Oh baby won’t you take my hand
And read the lines
That tell the plan
Of how my life
Is bound to end
Or if you’d only
Be my friend
 
Now my dogs are cookin’ on the fire at the end of the trail, yea
And the angels in the choir they can really wail, yea
And I’m goin’
Lord knows my coins are glowin’
In your pan

It Will Not Be Electric dial-up | broadband
words and music by Jonathan Best
 
It will not be electric
It will use very large balloons
You will at birth select it
We’ll grow them in the womb
 
It will not be electric
But it will radiate
And be the first non-human elected
And then you will forget
 
It will not be electric
It will use tiny metal balls
It will make everybody rich
And always makin’ love
 
Julia Roberts got one
And so does Sara Lee
You won’t even taste it in your food
We’ll send it out in space
 
It will not be electric
But underneath your skin
We’ll personalize your body
And eat whatever food you like
 
It will not be electric
It will use you like you used me
Your body will not reject it
And then you will forget

Let It trickle on Down dial-up | broadband
words and music by Jonathan Best and Mary Poole
 
Everybody’s jerkin’ off the radio
Many daddies wanna be your daughter’s daddio
But if you got the money
Let it trickle on down
 
Here is a topic your teacher never told
Pan handlers handle clams from sneakers sewn in Soweto
But if you got the money
Let it trickle on down
 
Walkin’ down Wall Street
The bear says to the mule
Can a bull be like a cannibal and can a bull
But if you got the money
Let it trickle on down

Rush dial-up | broadband
words and music by Jonathan Best, Mary Poole and Angel Fernandez
 
You watch your baby
And then you let her know
You love your baby
And then you let her go
You’re taking over
Walking her down to the river’s edge
And when you walk on water
And hold her going down the falls
You see your daughter’s daughter
Hear your father’s father call
Doo, doo, doo doo doo etc.
 
You watch your baby
Tie her brand new shoe
She’s walkin’, baby
Walkin’ away from you
She’s taking over
But this child will never leave your world
‘Cause when you walk on water
And hold each other down the falls
You see your daughter’s daughter
Hear your father’s father cal
Doo, doo, doo doo doo etc.

Walkin in the Middle Of It
words and music by Jonathan Best and Angel Fernandez
 
Lift your paw your master says sit
Rollin over you have to shit
You grab your leash and wag your tail
You’re out the door you sniff the street your
Walkin in the Middle Of It
Bitin a rock star
 
Every night the jokes cut deeper
Shake your fist at the world to close to death to sleep
You just ate and now you can’t lift a leg but your
Walkin in the Middle Of It
Carryin a time bomb
 
If you open up the world like a can you see the angels shop while the alpha males try to understand
How the other nine tenths live
Ronald Reagan had a vision and I’m
Walkin in the Middle Of It
Carryin a land mine
 
The closer I get to death
the scareder I get that I might be God and set fire to the neighborhood
Me and the Kennewick Man
Walkin in the Middle Of It
Carryin a time bomb
 
Slippin to the devil what God wouldn’t give me
Brings to mind the time my mom who died was sure
That I didn’t have it in me
Now my blanket is in tatters and I’m
Walkin in the Middle Of It
Carryin’ a land mine
Walkin’ in the middle of it
Bitin’ a rock star

Victoria’s Secret
words and music by Jonathan Best

I want you to hold
Please hold me
Hold me in your lovin’ arms
I want you to lift me
From this road
That’s been wearin’ down my soul too long
 
Ford’s got a better idea
A better idea than you
When the devil wants to hold you
Lucite’ll turn you lose
Ford’s got a better idea
A better idea than me
Lord I want you to lift me than I’ll fall into the Gap

Go back to Starbucks get a latte
Go back to Starbucks get another
Go back to Starbucks get a latte
Go back to Starbucks get another
Go back to Starbucks get a latte
Go back to Starbucks get another
Go back to Starbucks get a latte
And then we’ll fall into the Gap


You Don't Know Nothin' (Songs From Before I Got Laid) dial-up | broadband
You Don't Know Nothin' (Inside the M.A.D. Linguist) dial-up | broadband
words and music by Jonathan Best

You don't know nothin' 'bout electric shocks
You don't know nothin' 'bout high heeled socks
You don't know nothin' 'bout a full man's shoe
You don't know nothin' 'bout glue

You don't know nothin' 'bout where you been
You don't know nothin' 'bout wearin' thin
You don't know nothin' 'bout why you came
You don't know nothin' 'bout Jane

You don't know nothin' 'bout Harold and Maude
You don't know nothin' 'bout gettin' pawed
You don't know nothin' 'bout shoppin' at the mall
You don't know nothin' at all nothin' at all and that just about some it up

all songs Copyright © 2008 Jonathan Best. 

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